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Beatrice's avatar

Thank you so much for sharing this! I have been having this conversation a lot latley and been getting shut down for not being "sexually liberated" . I do not think consent can exist when there is a power dynamic.

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Total Woman Victory's avatar

The way feminists get shamed for being "vanilla" whenever they express their opinions about BDSM is not just exhausting, it's part of a ploy to groom more women into accepting sexual abuse. I'm so sorry you've been attacked with that messaging as well, and thank you so much for your kind comment! - Winnie Lark

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White Squirrel's Nest's avatar

I don't oppose BDSM entirely but I agree that it is far too often considered above critique in "progressive" and queer circles. The "but they consented" defenses get really stretched and there's more & more cases of people (mostly men) assaulting partners & claiming it was part of play. Especially things like choking & asphyxiation. A lot Gen Z folks feel pressured/vanilla shamed into it, and in particular choking has been very popular. In spite of the many problems with BDSM I think it's necessary to collaborate between feminists as a whole, LGBT people, disabled advocates and the alternative sexuality subcultures (kink/swinging/polyamory) to stop right wing anti sex laws & propaganda. They will push underground all forms of sexuality they don't approve of. Meanwhile promoting the "tradwife" lifestyle that is just a blander form of being a 24/7 submissive. Trade the leather for calico.

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Mar's avatar

Thank you for writing this. There is nothing feminist about BDSM.

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Total Woman Victory's avatar

Thank you so much for your kind comment! I hope my writing did the issue justice. - Winnie Lark

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